Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Thinking is Dangerous

Oh yes it is!!! I have been SO up in my head these past few weeks. I am in serious financial turmoil and I am not sure what I am going to do about it.
I am hoping for a phone call from Greg in the next week or two to cement a part time position at the Wawa around the corner from where i live.
On the topic: I think way too much. My wheels are always spinning. They even spin in my sleep. I have these vivid dreams of being chased by a faceless man on a street in which I grew up near only in the dream there were many more trees. Odd.
I did start back to meetings. I did go to the chiropractor today and he fixed me up good he did!! Yuck yuck!
Really. I feel like 80% better than I have for the last 4 months.
Andy and I are fighting like cats and dogs; maybe even a few fish in there. It is always the same crap. I'm insanely jealous and he is a terrorized, misunderstood victim.
So I start thinking again. I want to do so much with my life. I want to be more than an administrative assistant. I want to be more than a thin woman with a great ass. I want to be more than an insecure girlfriend.

I want to be a writer.
I want to be a personal trainer.
I want to be a life coach.

Yes. I really do want to be all of those things.

But my dilemma is:::: how do i make these things happen?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Anger Issues

Yep!! True Dat! I am one angry ass mofo. Have been for years now. I quell it at times but when someone or something does not act the way I want it to, I flip out!!!! Sad sad sad..... SO I went to my first AA meeting tonight in months.... It was good for me. I shared, which made me nervous as hell, but I did it!! There were a lot of familiar faces there and some new ones.. Everyone was happy to see me, that felt nice.

I am so jealous and insecure it is disgusting... and the odd thing is is that men are always staring at ME!! Yet - I freak out if Andy even so much as glances in the direction of a mildly attractive woman. Insane, I know. This is yet another obstacle that I need to work on!!
He says I am insane and I imagine these things but I really feel like I do not imagine these things.

He went to an AA meeting tonight, too. Apparently, he will not be attending any AA meetings that I go to for a while. That's fine.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Back To Work!!!!

UGH!!!!!!!!!! Well - not really. I am back to work today and feel fortunate to have a job. This is true. Also, I went to see Greg this morning at Wawa to see about the PT job there for the overnight on weekends. Seems as though I got it! He said he doesn't even have to interview me... Sweet!!!
Vacation was nice, a little dull, but nice.
I did change my address officially on the USPS website. Had I known it was that easy I'd had done it 2 years ago. Now my mom should probably stop getting my mail! Yay!!
I was driving home from work and was on Bellevue Avenue (by the train tracks) and this chic was walking across the street in a skirt and high heels and she had these amazing legs.. I was so jealous!!! I quickly puhsed the thought out of my head, but I figured here would be a great place to release that thought since this is my "anything goes" blog.
I feel so frumpy lately... like, I am NOT SEXY EVEN A LITTLE BIT. My work clothes are frumpy... I dress super conservative cause Andy hates if I dress any other way. It really fucking annoys me! Anyhoo.... :) Tomorrow is a new day!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Great Day So Far

Well - Andy and I went out on the motorcycles this morning and we had a nice time. We went up to Van Zandt Airport and then all through Bucks County. We stopped at a park which the name escapes me, but it was nice and had cabins, which was cool. Brought back memories of Parker Dam.
We then went to this tile place on 611 which I always wanted to investigate further. They had tours but the next one was like in 30 minutes and he and I were getting hungry.

The tile place is very interesting from the outside. It kind of looks Turkish in some ways. We did go inside of the building, but like I said they had scheduled tours and we were getting hungry. Maybe some other time. Also, there were picnic tables and such for grilling and hanging out. Kind of like a park around the tile place. When you walk around the building there are about 15 or so smoke stacks.. I guess they have different ovens that make different types of tile. Inside, they had some books and such, however, a little pricey!

Right now Andy is starting dinner and I must go to the store to fetch some pineapple salsa.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


UGH. OMG I am so fucking bored. I would rather stab myself in the eye with a frigging ice pick than sit here and do NOTHING but watch TV, freeze my ass off and watch Andy take multiple naps.
This FUCKING SUCKS. It is my own fault seeing as how I fucked up and my bank account got levied... I know that it is 100% my fault but I also believe in manifestation. Andy kept asking me if someone was going to hit the savings account he and I were sharing, which, that did not happen. But you know what did.
So I am now looking for a second job. Nothing major, a couple nights a week. If I play my cards right I may be able to have 3 jobs... he he. This really does suck.
I worked 2 jobs for most of my working life and I now have a well paying job to not have to work 2 jobs, but here I am again. Not sure how I will be able to swing this seeing as how I am much older these days.
I wish I could manifest hitting the lottery tonight.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Still Tuesday

Well - Let's see. Andy was super worried something was going to attach itself to our vacation savings. That did not happen, however, someone did levy my bank account for a debt from 2001 (????). Anyway - Andy is sad, our vacation is ruined and I am picking fights. :(
This really sucks.
He seems to be worried. Well, I am looking for a 2nd job and I think I am going to handle it myself.
What else can I do?
I also have to call my mom and tell her to write on all the mail that comes there for me "Return to Sender - not at this address".
In fact, I think I'll email her now.