Pain and Prejudice

Ugh. I am so fucking tired. I have had a good weekend so far but I did something to my back and now it is killing me. Right in the damn middle. My daughter is down this weekend. It was nice to have her. She turned 15 on Tuesday. She got a job at the Wegman's.
Work at Wawa is going well.
I signed up for my first 5k. It benefits Livengrin which makes me happy as an addict/alcoholic in recovery.
I have pizza in the oven for brunch. at 12 noon I am going to the Metro PCS store to get a new phone. Andy got a new phone and he also canceled our Verizon plan so I really have not much choice in the matter.
Here's to following your dreams so that life is what you want!

Prayer

I pray that God watches over my children and protects them from evil. I pray that Sarah's car will run and that she will be smarter in her choices and not be so lackadaisical.
I pray that David follows a righteous path from here on and really does his best to be a good man and a great father.

Tirrrrred

Ugh. Freaking Tired. Freaking Bull. Gotta freaking do it all over again tomorrow. Oh well this crap ain't changing unless I change it. Got stuff in the works. Hoping it works out. I still pray to God that it does and that he will please watch over my little ones.
Give me the strength to forgive those who have wronged me for they know no better.
Give me the strength to take care of me; for I am the only one who truly can.
Give me the sanity to get through a taxing day and to realize that I am only human and cannot fix everything.
Even though I really want to.
Give me the peace of mind that roadkill is the circle of life and not an unfortunate creature.
Only God Knows Why

Why I Don't Have Female Friends

Ya know - - I gotta say. When I was a little girl, I had quite a few friends. We played together, rode bicycles together, picked on the boys together. When I was a teenager I had quite a few friends. We had sleepovers, we went to the mall, yacked on the phone and liked boys together.
I did have an excellent friend. We met at a deli we worked together at. She was younger than me and life happened and we drifted apart.
Now, I am 37 years old and I have to say - I cannot find one woman that isn't self-serving, manipulative or dishonest.
What has prompted this rant is that a bunch of us were supposed to be going to Centralia tomorrow. The guys are going dirt trailing and I was going because it is supposed to be really awesome for sights and photography! :) Dawn (Joe's GF) was supposed to go because the guys said as women we should not go alone and I told her how much it would mean to me if she went. So - about a 1/2 hour ago Andy calls me and tells me Dawn has some "thing" to go to tomorrow and has to go school supply shopping and that she is not going. ??? Thanks for letting me know.
So now I am not going to Centralia. A trip that I have had my heart set on for about 2 months.
Oh, I'll ask her about why she didn't tell me that she wasn't going. She'll get defensive and turn it all around. *sigh*. W.E.

What will become of me?

Hmmm... I have been thinking a lot about how things change so much. Four years ago I was living in someone's basement getting sober and really beating myself up. I had just landed a job as a p/t parts delivery girl for Pep Boys WD. I was feeling pretty low.
Today I still have my moments.. Now I am an admin asst at an accounting firm and I also have a second job - part time at the Wawa around the corner. I am kind of upset because I sort of associate working weekends and other less pleasurable hours with being a teenager or a failed adult.
However, I do know that these are just stepping stones on a path to something far greater.
Bless me Father, for I am quite certain I sin everyday. Help me to follow a righteous path.

What a Weekend

UGH... Friday night we rode down to Tony Luke's - on the way back my tire got stuck in a trolley track and i went down on the bike.
Saturday was good. I landed a second job at the Wawa that my landlord owns - I start Tuesday night at 7 pm. 7 - 12 on Tuesday & Thursday I'll be working. And then 12m - 6 am on Saturday morning.
I went to the Phillies game today with my friend Dawn. The Phillies won... Yay!!
Now I am pretty tired and sore from the wreck on Friday night.



G'night.

Freakin' Philly

UGH!!!!! We rode down to Tony Luke's last night which was kind of gut wrenching. I hate riding in Philly. Most people are cutthroat drivers and they just don't pay attention. SO we took I-95 down and I white knuckled it the whole way.
We ate, the food was awesome of course. We stopped at Penns Landing on the way back. We walked around for a bit - looked at the boats.
Then, we decided against I-95. We took Richmond Street instead. Well, right past the old Diamond Furniture Warehouse, my front tire went in a trolley track and I went down. I WAS SO MAD!!!!!!! The bike is fine, cracked turn signal lens and my rear brake pedal is smashed in a little.. but other than that the bike is fine. I have road rash on my right shoulder and arm, bruise on my right hip, calf and ankle.
So we get that squared away, I say I am okay to ride... we go down Aramingo Avenue to the Dunkin Donuts at Tioga, it is closed. Great. We are coming out of the parking lot and this frigging guy on a bicycle comes out of nowhere. Right in front of me. I grabbed my front brake (I was barely moving) and the bike was on such an angle, that yes, the bike went down again. The frigging guy just looked at me and kept going. And that was when I realized that I left Philly because I couldn't take it anymore so I should really just stay the hell out.
We rode down to the D&D at the Hess station and we sat there and got coffee.
Joe & Dawn were really cool about everything cause they stayed with us. I thought that was really nice.
Today I am going up to the Wawa to see Greg to see about getting some hours for part time work. Yay me!

What the frig is with women anyway?

Yep.. I said it. I don't get women. And yes. I am a woman. I don't get the manipulating. I don't get the bitching about stupid shit (I don't even get it when I do it, and yes, I bitch about stupid shit). I don't get the power struggle, the need to be the alpha bitch whenever in the presence of other women.
I don't get why a woman would be so insanely jealous over her boyfriend's daughter. Take for instance, my friend. We met up tonight. She was so freaking angry. Apparently, she and her BF had made plans tonight to eat dinner and hang in. She called her BF and he was eating sushi with his daughter a couple hours before dinner. She didn't even give him a chance to explain. She said something snide and hung up the phone on him.
Like, really?
So she sees her BF's ex-wife in the Wawa while getting coffee and she (my friend) mouths the words "fucking bitch" and his ex-wife sees my friend say this.
Like, how freaking old are you? Again, really?
So I don't know. There is no talking to her when she gets like this. I am quite guilty of similar behaviors not related to children or family.
But yes, I do have my psycho bitch tendencies.. like most people I guess.

Too Many Blogs??

Hmmm.. Interesting questions posed by myself for myself. I do this a lot. I get really into something and then I go into overload there by killing the buzz and leaving what little interest I had in the matter waning and rotting by the roadside. I started out with one blog on Spark People (which I have been keeping up on very religiously since January). Now I have this one and the newest addition to the family: Xanga.
I had a good day - I had a good night. I had a me day/night (with the exception of work). I ma really tired and waiting for Andy to come home so we can have a snack together and then go to bed.
I am all stuffy and that is really annoying the crap out of me.
This Friday night is my and Andy's night to pick an "activity to do". We decided on motorcycle rides down to Tony Luc's.
Sounds awesome to me! Must run tomorrow morning and do my strength training.

Monday Monday...........

Well - the weekend was fabulous... Saw my family, had Lynn Ann... it was nice. Today was a typical Monday at work. Nancy is out all week (vacation) so I am the only admin asst in the office. Now, normally I welcome this because when Nancy isn't there I can listen to my music at an audible level. However, my boss was less than happy today and I gotta tell ya it is getting annoying.
I did go to Dr. LaHoda's office to get my back therapies.. that felt good. Wednesday I am getting my mole biopsied... So I cannot go on my running group. But getting my mole biopsied is important! I want it off of my face.
I managed my strength training tonight. :) Yay!!
I have an idea for a book: The Rebirth of the Natural Woman
I just have to get my ideas flowing. I come up with great ideas and thoughts - I just don't execute very well.
I am thinking of doing something where all the plastic surgery is stripped away and we are all left to accept ourselves on a natural level.

Great Weekend

Hey there......... Friday we hung with our friends which was very fun. Saturday Lynn-Ann and I drove down to Cape May to see my family who I had not seen in at least a year! Today was a low-key day; food shopping, laundry... Andy and I went mountain biking on the trails by the creek.
That was fun.
Right now I am going to go relax on the couch and wait for True Blood to come on..
My dad told me I looked great when I saw him Saturday and that made me feel good :) I have been very religious in my exercise - I am frustrated because I haven't lost my little belly pooch yet - but I have faith that if I work a little harder it will go away. I just have to do more cardio.